Sneak Peak

OK... it has been ions since I last blogged... been a bit busy. The wedding was a whirlwind of fun. I am both happy and sad that it is over. It seemed like the day went by so fast. At the end of the day I simply felt loved. Loved by my friends, loved by my family, and loved more than I have ever felt by Anthony. He is an amazing man and I do not say it enough. I will always feel like he saved me... and continues to do so. People keep asking me if it feels different and the answer is yes. I didn't expect it to - we have been together for 6 years and lived together for 4. When he comes home from work... it is my husband coming home. When I go to bed at night, it is my husband and I sleeping next to. I love you bowdie, and always will:)

To say how grateful I am to all my amazing friends and family is utterly not enough. Looking back, I think I am a much better bridesmaid than a bride. Not because I am high maintenance, but because I am too low maintenance. That sounds like a good thing, but in reality, it's not. My friends really kept me on tract - from finally getting my dress to picking a make-up person and finalizing all the little details. I am sure they were all talking about me - and thats ok - I deserved it. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just the truth. I could organize an entire wedding for someone else, but when it was my turn - I'm not sure what I was thinking. Heck - I'm not sure what that says about me, either. Everyone involved was amazing. My parents did so much, Grammy helped enormously, and everyone in between... THANK YOU SO MUCH! Even all the children cooperated during the ceremony. EVEN ABBY! I was so proud of all the kids.

Finally to our sweet little girlies. You are the light of our life. You make every day worth living. You bring so much joy into our life. I hope you both know how much we love you and that you will ALWAYS be our baby girls!

Time to brag

I feel like a lot of the time I am complaining, rather than bragging about my kids. Although blogging is definitely a great place to blow some steam off. I must say that for the most part, we have really good children. Ruby can be way too sensitive and Abby can be very stubborn, but all-in-all... they really are the best. Last week when I picked up Ruby from school, her regular teacher was on vacation. So, the 4-5 year old teacher was helping out. She said she had a really rough day with the 3 years olds and they tested her all day. However, she said that Ruby was so sweet and helpful. She was kind and a good listener. The best part was that she said it in front of Ruby. Of coarse, Ruby was shy about it. I was so proud of her. She really is a good girl and it is nice to hear someone else say it. Abby is just about the silliest little girl I know. She is starting to talk more and more and simply just loves to be loved... just not by everyone. She is very stingy with her love and sometimes is way more of a mommy's girl than Ruby has ever been. She loves to have fun and she loves a new adventure. She seems like she has grown in so many ways since she turned two. She still lacks "sand etiquette"... aka throwing sand, and still loves to run off, but she takes her time-outs like a champ and seems like she "gets it"... at least for the time being. Together, with Anthony, my life is really blessed. I am so excited to marry Anthony and I love him so much and I am so grateful... especially because he puts up with my flaws. XOXO

Happy Birthday Abigail Ann!

OK, a day late, but yesterday was hectic and I couldn't get my thoughts together. My Dolly... where would my life be without. You are the light of my life. You bring the sunshine in and keep me smiling. Although it seems impossible, my love for you grows stronger every day. I love when you wake up in the morning and sweetly call for me "Mama, Mama, Mama". I love to sit on the couch and snuggle with you, even if it makes me late to work. I wish I could lay with you longer. I love to rub your little hands and feat and smell you. I am sad every time I have to get up. I love your eyes and have you have just began letting me give you butterfly kisses. Now you tell me "you want me"... or you want something. In fact your favorite words are "I want", "no", and "MINE"... even when no one else is around, I can hear you saying mine! You are starting to become a better listener. Most of our battles end in me asking you if you want time out, and that gets you to stop. I have had to paddle your bottom a few times, but running in the street or 6 houses down is unacceptable. You scare me sometimes because you are so fearless, but I also love it about you! You are definitely going to blaze your own trails and always choose the unbeaten path. You are so loving. I love when you give me kisses and you give the best hugs! You squeeze me tight and don't want to let go. When I get home from work you sprint to me and jump on me and have almost knocked me over. You love to go in your sisters room and look at books. I love when I catch you singing - usually the abc's. You can't pronounce all the letters... some you just hum. You are so curious about the world around you and I could see you one day being mischievous, too. You LOVE water and often ask for a bath by tilting your head, batting your eyes, and say "bath?". I can't wait until the summer so we can play in the water all the time. You LOVE going "bye-bye". You don't even care where we go. You often bring me your shoes and ask to go bye-bye. If you hear the keys jingle, you sprint to the door, ready to go. I think you finally understand me when I say "mommy is just getting something out of the car. You hate when I leave without you. Yesterday when I left for the softball game, you stood at the screen - banging on it - and balling yelling "MAMA"! Every time that happens, you break my heart, but most of the time I bring you wherever I go... you are such an easy baby to take out. I hope that you know how much I love you. I hope you know how special you are. I hope you grow up and always keep that smile. I will forever be sad because I am a working mom. I hope you don't resent me when you are older and understand. My heart is with you, my love is with you, my joy is with you! Happy Birthday Pudding Pop!
Love,
Mommy

Like mother like daughter

As most of you don't know, I talk in my sleep. However, the only time I do is when I am having a really scary nightmare. So, poor Anthony gets woken up to me sleep yelling or saying something else. For example, the last time it happened I had a nightmare that someone broke in to our house with a knife. I called 911 and was screaming my address into the telephone. Anthony woke me up - which always saves me from the bad guy - and said he was awaken by me screaming 5-8-3-9 WHITEWOOD AVENUE!!! over and over. Poor guy! It must also be frightening to wake up that way. I have to deal with his snoring, so I guess it is a trade-off:). So, last week Ruby was napping and started crying. I went to her and asked what was wrong and, without opening her eyes, she said "I LOST MY COOKIE!!!!". I laughed and she just rolled over and kept sleeping. Then last night she woke up crying saying "I DON'T WANNA WATCH THE LAKER GAME!!!!". Too funny.

Sleeping issues

Me, not my kids. I think I have got it all figured out. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and could NOT go back to sleep. I roll over and look at the clock. My first thought: I didn't get the girls clothes laid out last night. And then it continues... what am I going to wear today? Does Anthony have scrubs that are clean. He should, I did a billion loads of laundry. What I am going to cook for dinner? Do I have to cook dinner? Depends on what time Anthony's basketball game is. What time is it anyway? Should I go look? I contemplate a bit, get up and go look. 7:00pm. Well, he gets home around 6:00. Will he want to eat that close to the game? Maybe something light. Do I have stuff to make a salad? Maybe I should just make sandwiches. Maybe I should tell him to pick something up and I can just eat a lean cuisine. I should go to the gym today. Oh, wait, I can't. I am watching Sofia right after work(our neighbors daughter - mommy just gave birth via c-section yesterday and Sofia is really sad and jealous and wants mommy home) Gosh, I remember driving to the hospital to have Abby. I was crying the entire drive because I was so sad for Ruby. Gosh, Abby is going to be 2 this weekend. I'm kinda sad about it. Is that normal? I really need to get cracking on party stuff. Is it bad that I already have all their stuff for their Easter baskets, but not for the party? O'well, I got it early because Easter is a week before the wedding. I need to call the d.j.! I need to go to the reception place and figure stuff out. I need to get my shoes. I need to get my veil. I need to get the girls shoes. I need to write a list of everything we still need. Do we even have enough money? I guess we can charge a bit - NO - we are trying to buy a house. BTW, has the Realtor even submitted the contract to the Lender? Short sales are not short. Why do they even call them short. What time is it ? 6:30! WTH! What is wrong with me? Why can't I sleep like a normal person? I better just get up. I was late to work yesterday, I should go in early today. I am leaving out a bunch of other unmentionables - don't ask:) As I am getting ready, I had my epiphany... STOP THINKING SO MUCH!

This weekend:

Anthony is in San Francisco for his Bachelor Party, so Kim, Ang, and I are going back to the cabin with ALL six kids. Did I mention the oldest is 4? Did I mention there are only 2 bedrooms. Wish us luck and so much for slowing down!

Happy Birthday Angie!

It is my dear friend Angie's birthday! I can't tell you how much I love you and how sad it makes me that I don't get to see you as often as I would like. You have taught me so much in my life, that I am eternally grateful. You are an amazing mother and I love to brag about how you are a stay-at-home mom... and you sacrifice for the good of your family. You have always put your family first and I think that is amazing. I love to hear you laugh. I think you are one of the most beautiful people I know, both inside and out. I thank you for always (trying at least) to real me in and make the right decisions - no tractor rides:) You have a huge heart and an immense amount of passion. You are kind, generous, loyal, and loving. I love you so much and when I think of you I smile. Thanks for being you and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Ups and Downs

As most of you know, Ruby is my very sweet and VERY sensitive child. Abby is my electric spitfire with a giant spirit and a knack for bugging (hitting) Ruby. I can't stand it anymore. But, I hate to say, it bothers me more having to listen to Ruby cry 5 times a night because Abby scratched, hit, pulled hair, threw something at her. Then I put Abby in time-out and Ruby whines more because she is upset that Abby is crying!!!! As of yesterday Anthony and I devised a new plan: Operation Strike Back. Ruby officially has the green light to hit back - only on her arms or legs or back. So yesterday Abby scratched Ruby's cheek and I immediately told her instead of whining to mommy, hit her back. Ruby ran over to her and hit her on the back. I was so proud of her, however, Abby laughed hysterically, climbed on the arm of the couch and jumped off. She is probably thinking "this is a fun new game!!!". The up is that Ruby didn't whine. She stood up for herself and it is a BIG step in the right direction.

Bachelorette Party!

So, I went a little unconventional as far as bachelorette parties are concerned, but I loved ever moment and can't wait to go back. We went to my bosses cabin in Phelan - about 10 minutes from Wrightwood. We relaxed, played games, sang karaoke - thanks to my neighbors set-up, watched movies. My sister flew down and Kim, Kelly, Angie, and Julie also came. I wish we could have stayed one more day. The snow was beautiful. I can't remember the last time I saw it snow.

On Sunday afternoon we went into Wrightwood and stopped at a little bar called the Raccoon Saloon - it was so much fun... I just wished Ang and Julie were there. They had to go home Sunday morning:(

Raccoon Saloon! I'll be seeing you again!

Playing some Shigiti(a card game) at the cabin.

Wrightwood.

As I was putting stuff in the car getting ready to come home, I stopped and took a moment to look around and truly feel grateful. The kind of grateful that makes you smile when no one is looking. It was slightly snowing, yet I was warm with love. Love that I have been so lucky to be enveloped by in my life. Anthony was home with the girls and I wasn't worried at all. It was the first time I was away from them and actually didn't feel guilty - not that I didn't miss them. I missed them terribly and could not wait to hug them and smell them. I was so proud of Anthony, too. I know that that sounds like a back-handed compliment, but it's not. You know all your husbands out there - ok, most of your husbands - would have a tough go of it being on their own for a weekend. I love you honey and, thank you for loving me.

Bridal Shower

My Shower was last Friday and we had so much fun! My mom and the girls did such an awesome job - decorated cute, great food, lots of drinks. My sister Jessica flew down for a wild, and I am sure tiring, couple of days. I am so grateful to my family and friends who put it on and came over to celebrate. As usual, people were so generous. THANK YOU everyone! I love you!

Kelly and I. I think ever since she read the Twilight series, she became part vampire - her eyes are always red:) Love you!

Shannon and I. LOVE your dark hair!

My amazing sister. Thank you so much for all you did!

The wedding party. Can you say Black?

My girl Kim... mmmmaaaa... I stinking love you!

I have a really cute picture of Ang and I, but for some reason I cannot get it to download - dang blogger - anywho - love you so much and thanks for everything!

Remember us?

I know I shouldn't put naked pictures up, but dang I love Abby's booty!

Ruby dropped her ice cream... so sad:(

We came home from the zoo and my dad was outside washing the car... Abby couldn't resist getting drenched.

Ruby at the Japanese Gardens. I love taking the girls here... but sad news... all the thousands of coi fish died from a Virus.

Abby at the Aquirium. She LOVED it so much. I had to keep a VERY tight leash on her. She kept trying to climb in the touching tanks.

"Ruby's Room" at St. Joseph's OB department. Our good friend Kevin is a brilliant photographer who we are VERY lucky to have him take pictures of the girls. If you know anyone who needs pictures taken... check out his website: www.capturedyouth.com. He is worth every penny and then some!

Way back: Anthony and I on New Year's Eve.

I love this picture of Abby. It speaks VOLUMES about her personality. This was on Christmas.

Now I will be back to loving blogging more!

It's not fun when

you can't post any dang pictures. I have downloaded the software, but the usb port is unrecognizable. If anyone has any computer savvy... please HELP!

So what's new:

My little Abby Bean is the light of my life. She is - like I mostly describe her - WAY more challenging than Ruby. She has a back-bone the size of a giant, but a heart of GOLD! She is such a passionate little girl and does everything with zest... whether it is running and jumping or giving me hugs and kisses. Even though I can get her to repeat almost any word, she still likes to baby babble and I am still ok with that. She is my little explorer, hitting the ground running, laughing and smiling (almost) the whole way. I can't believe she is going to be 2 in 2 months! I took her to the Aquarium on Wednesday and wish I had more time to spend special moments with just her. Being the second child, I feel like she gets "jipped" in the special time category.

We had a little potty training set-back with Ruby, but we are headed back in the right direction. All of the sudden she got this insane fear of pooping in the toilet. She made herself constipated by not going, then it hurt... needless to say: a vicious cycle began. We are back on the toilet and she is slowly coming back around. It was so bizarre becasue once she became potty trained, she never looked back and that was almost a year ago! Once I started telling people, it was crazy how many parents experienced this with well potty trained kids. With the help of advice and a little bribery, we are back in action. On a positive note, Ruby started Gymnastics and she LOVES it! She tells me all about the obstacle courses and the tumbling. It is a program through school, just like ballet. I wish I could watch her every time, but she is one of those children that will always be much better if I am not in the class.

The wedding is creeping up on us so quickly. My shower is next week and so is my bachelorette! I am so excited to just relax for a couple of days. All of you mothers will be jealous: we are staying in a cabin for two nights and pretty much not doing ANYTHING! We are going to wake up whenever we want. Eat whenever we want. Go to the bathrooms by ourselves. Take showers by ourselves. Take naps whenever we want. Have a mimosa at 10:00am if we want - ok we will:) Although I will miss the girls dearly, I am going to try and revel in the relaxation of the weekend. I have the best friends and the best mom and the best sister ever. It has been a bit uncomfortable being on this side of "event planning", but I have learned to let go and just enjoy. Thank you Mom, Jess, Kim, Ang, and Kelly - I love you!

Finally!

DISCLAIMER: still no photos!!!!

Thanks to my beloved friends who care so much... I finally got my wedding dress!!! Yeah! I didn't realize what a relief it was going to be. It's not like I am not excited about the wedding - I AM. I just hate all the attention. All these brides were trying on dresses and ooing and aahhing... trying on way too many. My mom, bless her heart, pulled one out that I loved. They didn't have my size, but I ordered one and it will be in the last week in March... and yes, our wedding is April 18. Everyone keep there fingers crossed that everything goes well. I gave Anthony the catalog for the Tuxedos, so now it is his turn!

The girls have been really good. Abby is upping the anty (sp?) on bulling Ruby. Now she sneaks up on her and : roars, pulls her hair, throws something at her, hits. I know she isn't 2 yet, but we officially started time-out on Saturday. She stays in the hall, cries, and then when I get her out I walk her over to Ruby and tell her to say she is sorry. Then Abby says "I sorry"... and runs away. It's like she doesn't want to acknowledge for too long that she has done something wrong. Even better, when she hurts Ruby, I grab her and tell her "NO ______" and march her to time out... the whole time Ruby is saying "Mommy, be nice to her" WTH! I'm never going to win. I hate to say this, but one day... very soon I hope, she is going to learn her lesson the hard way. She is going to venture beyond bulling Ruby and hopefully - I know this sounds mean - she will get a taste of her own medicine. I love you baby, but be nice!!!! Don't get me wrong, she is more of a lovable, fun and adventurous kid that, to me, is irresistible. She loves to snuggle and kiss and hug. Maybe it is just jealousy... t.b.c.

Happy New Year!

I have been wanting to post, but since my last few did not include pictures, I was waiting. Unfortunately, I still cannot get my new camera to download pictures. We had such a nice holiday break. I got back-to-back 4 day weekends and each Monday morning it was so hard to kiss my girls goodbye. The girls were spoiled, as was I. Ruby loves her doll house and Abby loves her Radio Flyer horse. I need to remember next year to scale it down, but I know I won't. I am already thinking of ways to start saving for the next one.

Wedding plans are, well, kind of getting moving. I am finally - with a ton of pressure from my friends - going to try on dresses this Sunday. I hope I can find something that I like so it can be over with. We also are one step closer to deciding on a new reception site. Yes, we canceled the last one. We are trying to buy a house and cannot justify the cost. We are definitely going to be a "low budget" wedding, and I am way ok with that.

Last, I would just like to wish all my blogging friends out there a very Happy New Year. I am always amazed at how fast they are passing by. Hold tight to your loved ones. Let them know you care. Let them know they are loved. Let them know they are special.